Riding the motorcycle: a sketch

by DRM


1200 by Andreas Levers

I’m always saying to him, “If you leave and I haven’t ridden your motorcycle, that’s going to be really bad.”

We had a big fight at the end of the block party.  Drunk, yeah.  And, can’t remember what got said, but he says that he was a lot worse, kind of ‘I’m saying really shitty things and should stop” angry, but he didn’t care and people were looking at us from the other side of the street, all sitting up on their stoops drinking beer and being nonchalant, but we couldn’t stop.

At least, that’s what he says, we couldn’t stop, and it’s not like he’s a bad guy or anything.  Vicky doesn’t like the way he treats me.  She’s got this guy who slept with someone else, it was after they broke up, but it was right after, so they weren’t all the way broken up, and he got drunk and slept with this girl, and Vicky is all, get out of my face and I’m not into your shit and she drew the line right there.   They’re friends now, kind of, and I kept thinking, you know, she wouldn’t put up with this at all, what’s going on with me?  That’s what she says to me anyway.

But when we had the big fight Matt was like, I’m going to leave right now.  But I was like, don’t, you know, Teddy has us doing Sunday family dinner and you don’t want to be like, in New Jersey thinking, shit, I should have stayed for Sunday family dinner.

Anyway I’ve got to ride the bike.  That’s what I said.  The whole time, I’ve got to ride the bike.

He’s probably in Jersey now.  He’s got to get back to take care of Larry, whose shit is all messed up and everyone in Galveston is saying, you’ve got to come back to take care of Larry, but they wouldn’t be saying that if he was already there, because no one can really take care of Larry, but that’s what he says he has to do.  He was going to be leaving in a couple of weeks, but you know, we had the fight and then he was like, I’m out of here.

I was going to throw him out a couple of times but then where would he go?  I mean, he’d be homeless and I would feel stupid and guilty, because it didn’t matter that much how upset I got, I mean, I can’t even remember what was getting me upset.

When I got on the motorcycle, he was laughing because I had a dress on.  “You are going to get messed up wicked bad if you fall down.”

The thing was the clutch.  It’s on the handle.  He and Larry tried to show me how to drive a stick shift when I was down in Galveston and I couldn’t get the hang of it and he was worried that I’d have the same problem on his bike and mess it up.  I didn’t want to do that.  But I wanted to ride the bike.  The thing is, the clutch, you let it out and the first little bit doesn’t make any difference, and then you’ve got to slow it down, but I just kept going on like it didn’t make any difference, and pop, the bike would like jump into the air and I’d jam back on the clutch, so it let go and there was a lot of racing noises and then I’d do it again.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

But I didn’t fall down.