The last year on drmstream[writing]

by DRM

 

This blog is an inad­ver­tent place, nei­ther com­mon­place book nor pub­lish­ing plat­form, dis­or­derly in approach but earnest in inten­tion, a bal­ance of self provo­ca­tion, hope­ful procla­ma­tion and inter­mit­tent distraction.

Despite its irres­olute intent, drmstream[writing] frames a rela­tion­ship for a kind-of writer and a kind-of audi­ence.  There is a group of you — a few hun­dred or so– who track what hap­pens here with cour­te­ous inter­est and occa­sional passion.

This is what we accom­plished together in the past year.

I posted on drmstream[writing] 68 times.

There were 7705 vis­i­tors who came 10,157 times and viewed 14,304 pages.  Three-quarters of those vis­i­tors came for the first time and very few came more than once.

Six cities drove the most vis­its:  New York, Port­land, San Fran­cisco, Chicago, Dublin and London.

I’ve shared in the past why work ends up here: this is a place where I am forced to stay account­able to my cre­ative tem­per.  I’ve shared the cir­cum­stances when that tem­per has cooled, and how, as I’ve pro­gressed in life, I’ve come to under­stand that those peri­ods of cool­ing are the root of a non-specific but insis­tent dis­con­tent.  Each time I post on this site,  I’m stok­ing the flick­er­ing flames of creativity.

More often than not the pieces here are frag­ments, unworked and incom­plete.  If I post too much, I lose track of the work that I am doing pri­vately.  If I post too lit­tle, I lose con­fi­dence and start to hear things like the throw-away judg­ment my mother once ren­dered, say­ing “You don’t have the makeup to be an artist.”  Those are the lit­tle splashes of doubt that can eas­ily quench the flames of confidence.

Some­times I man­age to string together a series of words that res­onate for Google, and a lot of the peo­ple who end up on this site come to one of  a hand­ful of posts that appear promi­nently in Google searches:

Snow was gen­eral all over Ire­land (pub­lished March 18, 2010) is a lit­tle rumi­na­tion on the lan­guage used in the last para­graph of James Joyce’s The Dead, one of my favorite pieces of ele­giac writ­ing ever.  I look at you and I would rather look at you than all the por­traits in the world  (pub­lished Sep­tem­ber 4, 2010) is an appre­ci­a­tion of a Frank O’Hara poem.  The three other posts that get a lot of Google hits are More on the uncanny val­leyThe wire spool table; and, The story behind the baby with the cig­a­rette and the mon­o­cle.

Over the past year, there were five posts that attracted a larger than nor­mal read­er­ship.  When I went back to look at each, I could see three themes that res­onated:  the search for iden­tity, the inten­sity of love, and the sim­ple power of a vivid image.

Here are the five posts:

The boy who became a pastor

The grave­yard

Rec­og­niz­ing some­one is com­pli­cated a con­ver­sa­tion about love

To leave a sig­nal a mes­sage of my own

The see­ing of not see­ing from Ali­son Jardine

Out­ing

The last post was in many ways the most per­sonal.  After two years of anonymity, I shared my real iden­tity.  The act felt more momen­tous to me than it was to any­one else, but I guess that’s always the way of uncov­ered secrets.

I’ve said this before, but I owe the few hun­dred of you who read these short pieces reg­u­larly a great debt of grat­i­tude.  You pro­vide me that val­i­da­tion that I strug­gle to pro­vide myself: that my cre­ative work is a wor­thy ven­ture, that I can work at Art with con­fi­dence that it is true to myself, and that I can some­times hit on some­thing that will move a reader.

When I was young I used to play my sax­o­phone on the street.  When peo­ple stopped to lis­ten I knew that I was mak­ing some­thing more than noise.  drmstream[writing] is that street cor­ner and when you stop by, I can remind myself that it is good to write, that I am made to do it, and that what­ever comes from it will be a bonus.